I don’t want to give too much backdrop to this story, because it is kind of long itself. Just let me prelude by saying that when we left Tim’s house outside of Zurich, Switzerland at 8:00 last night, we meant to go out for one drink, and then go to sleep early for a long day ahead of travel to Interlaken. What that one drink led to was one of the strangest nights I’ve had so far in Europe.
Tim wanted to take us to a club, to hear some way too loud techno music, and drink some fruity cocktail with energy drink for way too much money. Fortunately, so I thought, the clubs were closed, and we ended up at a small bar in downtown Zurich with an outstanding bunch of locals. By outstanding, I mean this group dressed very, very European. There were many brightly colored, oddly striped clothes, accessorized by haircuts that could have been the work of a blind hairdresser and piercings in all sorts of places. It was a fun group to watch, and we talked and laughed as we enjoyed our one drink of the night. When the music got a little louder, and a lot worse, we decided to seek out another bar.
As we were walking along the river, Billy was approached by two Swiss girls who seemed to be looking to make some new friends. They were friendly and spoke fairly good English, so we invited them along with us. This seemed well and good until one of them began to cling to Billy like a leech. Billy didn’t mind the attention until she began to repeat, in slurred and broken English, “Oooh Billie, I vant to marry you. I vant to marry you, and move to Ameri-cah. Oooh Billie.” This was all happening while we, this collaboration of Americans (including a new friend from Dallas Texas) and Swiss kids, were wandering aimlessly through the streets of Zurich. We were just talking, laughing and goofing around, but were apparently being quite too loud.
A well-dressed white-haired man under a brimmed hat, with a red-haired woman hanging on his arm and a cigar hanging on his lip, approached us and reminded us of the 10PM Swiss national quiet hours law. We began to apologize, but Tim—all 5’5” of him—decided to take the opportunity to discuss the matter with this gentleman, convinced the law was 11PM quiet hours. Unfortunately for Tim, the man turned out to be the Mayor of the city of Zurich. The Mayor of the largest city in Switzerland happened to be passing us on the street in a moment of good-spirited boisterousness, and reprimanded us. Well, we all apologized for any disruption, and being a group of primarily foreigners shook the man’s hand until it was about to fall off. He was quite pleasant, spoke eloquent English, and even made a joke about Iowa. We took a picture with Mr. Mayor (his name I cannot remember) and all went on our merry way.
Around a couple more bends in the cobblestone roads our group came upon a neat little tucked-away church. Outside was a fire-barrel and a pile of cardboard and wood. By this time, the temperatures had sunk well below freezing and we had been walking the chilly streets for over an hour. The place seemed abandoned, and we decided to make a fire, right there in the pedestrian-only square outside the church. It didn’t take long to get a good blaze going, and we all began to warm up. As we warmed our hands and chatted, people began to emerge from inside the church we assumed was abandoned. They joined us around the fire casually. The man next me started a conversation in English with me. I learned he was from Iran and, intrigued, I asked how he came to Zurich, and why he was in a church at nearly midnight on a Wednesday. He was a refugee. He fled Iran in hope of being able to forge a better life in Switzerland. However, “Fred” was caught as an illegal immigrant and is currently in state of suspense almost unimaginable to me. He cannot return to Iran, or he will be imprisoned and punished as a traitor. The Swiss government is currently deciding whether or not he will be allowed to stay in Switzerland, where he also could be jailed. He cannot work, he cannot find a place to stay, and he cannot leave. He only has this church to stay in, and time to kill. Another woman in the church from Iran has been waiting 12 years for a decision from the Swiss government.
I could have talked to “Fred” all night, and had so much to ask him, but Tim began shouting at us from the other side of the square that we were about to miss the last train back to his hometown outside Zurich. I shook “Fred’s” hand and we all started sprinting to the train station. We missed the train by 5 minutes, and were shocked to realize we were all suddenly stuck in Zurich.
Tim called his younger brother in a last ditch effort in hopes that he could come pick us up, and—what fortune!—his brother was in the city, at a dance club just a few blocks from us.
Well, a few blocks turned into about 2 miles, and by the time we reached “Holden” Club (Swiss-German for “Heroes”) we were cold, tired and ready for bed. But, Tim’s brother was not ready to give us a ride home quite yet, so we went inside for a bit.
“Holden” turned out to be a very unique place. We quickly recognized that there were very few women there. Very few, and the men seemed to be getting awfully close to each other when they talked and danced together. We found ourselves standing on the edge of the dance floor of a vibrant Swiss gay night club. It was really a pretty stylish club, and the DJ was good. We weren’t at all uncomfortable being there, just thrown a little off guard, as none of us had been to a gay club before. Soon, the novelty of the place wore off, while exhaustion and frankly boredom set in. We danced a little, but couldn’t really get into it (you could imagine) and talked to Tim’s brother and his boyfriend for a bit, before it was finally time to leave.
We left “Holden” quite a bit more cultured, and much less innocent toward the displays of affection in gay couples. Tim’s brother drove us home safely. Finally in our beds in Tim’s basement we all looked at one another in disbelief. Our one night in Zurich was by far one of my greatest misadventures yet.